This morning I woke with a pain in my back. Not a terrible pain, just a niggling, gripping one that appears when I change position. My instinct was to get painkillers. But then I thought: No. There’s obviously something broken here, and if I numb it I might damage it more, merely prolonging it.
So I started to wonder, is it the same with emotional pain? Some of the things I’ve read and been told recently suggest that yes, the only way through emotional pain is to feel it.
My wise friend has told me that you can’t shortcut grief. And this I am sure is true. Emotional pains come from those parts of us which need to be heard, and by listening to them we allow them to heal. It can be traumatic, and the fear of how much it will hurt us if we let it can stop us from exploring those hurts, leaving us empty from the healing we desperately need.
It is easier to have a drink, or eat cake, or whatever it is you do to numb. But it is not better. Feeling your emotional pain won’t kill you, although it might feel like it will. Be brave; allow yourself to be heard. If you have a friend you trust not to be judgmental, talk to them. If not, try writing. It is hard, to explore things you know will hurt. But they won’t destroy you; you will still be here afterwards, and every time you allow those parts to be heard, you will take another step towards healing.
